Farewell

Captain's Log - Day 36

The trip is officially over!

This morning we packed up everything and rode north to Indiana with Taylor and Rachael. On the way, we stopped at a Waffle House (affectionately known as Wa Ho) for Simon, since he'd never been. I don't think he appreciated it.

Our trip south on Plan C was amazing. We met some fantastic people - especially Rob and Kate who set the tone for our interactions with everyone else, and Randy and Rebecca whose hospitality (and moonshine) warmed our spirits.

We learned a lot about ourselves and each other. If you ever need a someone to travel down river with you, Simon's a good choice - he's bold, capable, not afraid to dig into a problem and get his hands dirty, and just good company. He's also a very talented photographer!

We gained confidence in our ability to just get out and have an adventure that we knew virtually nothing about.

This has been a great time of rejuvenation for me. I know I've said it before, but the freedom was amazing.

Thanks for all your prayers, emails, calls, texts, and comments! Thanks for reading along! We hope you've enjoyed it!

Farewell until our next adventure!

As promised, here are some statistics:

We traveled 725 miles down the Mississippi, 47 miles up the Ohio, and 617 miles up the Tennessee for a grand total of 1,389 miles.

We locked through 37 locks.

We spent 36 nights on the boat.

We lost 2 anchors.

We saved one life (Melissa Melanie).

We took no prisoners.

Sold!

Captain's Log - Day 35

I officially no longer own a boat!

This morning, Frank showed up with the cash and we completed the deal. Plan C is moving on.

The good news is that Frank is a great guy and knows a lot about boats. He's a captain of a stern wheel riverboat. He told us about his travels on the rivers and how he came to be a captain. Really interesting guy. Plan C is in good hands - Frank's going to giver her the tlc she deserves.

Even though we like Frank, it's bittersweet to sell her. We're spending our last night on her tonight. *Sigh* We'll miss you, Plan C. Let's have a brief moment of silence in her honor ...

...
...

After we sold her, we fed the ducks and bluegills that have been congregating near our stern. These things are like piranha! It was a feeding frenzy above and below the surface of the water! Simon was able to get one of the ducks to eat out of his hand!

Dinner was at the Lakeside Tavern again. We've actually found some good food there. The Tavern Chicken Tenders are excellent, and the Southwest Egg Rolls and Tavern Spicy Shrimp are good appetizers. The burgers are not very good - steer clear. The salads are decent. If you go with the Tavern Chicken Tenders, the spinach casserole is an excellent side, and the shiitake mushroom rice pilaf is pretty good too.

Taylor and Rachel came down to see us! They're going to give us a ride to Indiana where we'll (hopefully) relax for a few days before heading to Canada.

Tomorrow, I'll post all the grand totals for the trip - miles, locks, anchors, etc.

Third to last post?

Captain's Log - Day 34

This, friends, could be the third to last entry in Huck Finn 2010.

At this point I know it may seem like it's enough already; there's not much to write about. Maybe you're thinking to yourself, "Why won't he just stop already? It's like Scrubs, man - that show should have ended after season 8 and probably after season 7. I can't even watch anymore - it's just painful and pointless! And I'd rather submerge myself in one of those Chuck E. Cheese ball pits and be trampled by snot-nosed kids with greasy pizza fingers than listen to the new lead character (Lucy Bennett) whine for 22 minutes!"

Hopefully that's not what you're thinking. But if you are, don't worry - the end is in sight!

I've accepted an offer on Plan C and as long as the cash arrives tomorrow morning, the trip will be officially over and we'll be headed north on Wednesday.

On Tuesday or Wednesday, I'll post some grand totals for the trip - days, miles, locks, maybe even fuel costs. May post some grand generalizations, as well :)

A brief explanation of these pictures ... I got really close to that duck! Also, that second picture is the closest I got to seeing a dead body. It was floating in the transient slip next to ours.

Air conditioning

Captain's Log - Day 33

We spent all day at the marina.

They have this nice clubhouse that has a big screen with surround sound and a dvd player, leather couches, fireplace, pool tables, and a popcorn machine that Alexandria would probably trade a kidney for.

Simon and I have enjoyed the clubhouse very much - mostly because it's air conditioned. Honestly, if there was a closet with a couple of stumps in it to sit on, we'd be happy with it as long as there was air conditioning. We're in the middle of some kind of heat wave, and with the humidity, the heat index is over 100 degrees every day!

I was busy showing the boat for a good portion of the day. There's been a lot of interest, so I'm optimistic about selling her soon.

Before we were kicked out of the clubhouse (around 10pm) we got ourselves some popcorn from the machine and watched some dvds on the big screen! Tomorrow, we may try to start earlier and get ourselves a proper marathon going!

Throughout the trip, Simon's been taking photos and he's edited a few and put them in a picasa web album. They're good - check them out!

Knoxville

Captain's Log - Day 32

We're in Knoxville!

If all goes according to plan, Simon pulled up his last anchor this morning. And we passed through our last lock - the Fort Loudoun Lock

A few miles before we got to our destination, we killed the engines and jumped in the river a few times just for old times sake.

The countryside near Knoxville is beautiful and it's filled with ridiculous homes! Some of these boathouses were bigger than most apartments I've seen!

We saw Predators tonight. It was pretty good - better than I expected!

We're docked at Concord Marina, and the plan is to stay here till we sell Plan C. This place is probably the classiest marina we've stayed at. There's a pretty fancy looking restaurant here, the Lakeside Tavern, but the food isn't too great. Maybe we just haven't ordered well yet.

Hopefully we'll sell the boat this weekend! Got lots of people lined up to come and look at her. I'm optimistic.

Here's a quick tidbit before I pass out from exhaustion!

Tidbit #4 - Talk to everyone. You never know who you'll meet. We've met so many interesting, helpful, and friendly people! Maybe we're talkative because it's relatively seldom that we see someone besides each other.

Ft. Loudoun Lock

We're in our last lock!

Locked and loaded

Captain's Log - Day 31

Another day on the river!

The humidity today was absurd. You could breathe through your mouth and not ever get thirsty. Yes, it was that humid. Fortunately, after we passed through a thunderstorm, the humidity got back to bearable levels. Much longer in that soup and we would've began to resemble the Mon Calamari.

We were buzzed by a float plane today! Before it started diving at us, it took me about 30 seconds to realize it was a remote controlled plane! The guy flying it was really good! He put on quite a show for us. Stuck the landing too!

It's a good thing our trip is nearing its end, because Simon has begun to throw our cookware into the river. We're down one pot!

Today we saw a whole bunch of fish jumping way out of the water! They were all in a very tight-knit group. Clayton warned me about these - evidently they're dangerous! Simon and I didn't take this video, but it shows what we saw:



But at least there aren't any whales!! Jumping fish aren't the only danger on the river, which leads me to our third tidbit.

Tidbit #3 - There are many dangers on the river, so keep your head on a swivel.

There are barges that take a half mile to stop. If you get caught in front of one, your boat is done. Simon and I debated whether it would be best to swim for the shore or stay on the top of the boat till the last second and try to jump onto the barge. Fortunately, we never got a chance to test these theories.

There are thunderstorms that will sneak up on you, cut your visibility to 10 feet in a matter of seconds, and blow you towards the shore with 40 plus mile an hour winds (which makes running into barges easier).

There are locks, dams, wingdams, buoys and trees to hit. Also, watch out for those trees, because sometimes  you'll be minding your own business and they will hit you (and take your anchor)!

There are also poisonous snakes, but fortunately we didn't find any. Although ... I'm still very curious to know if I'm immune to copperhead venom now!

Despite these dangers and more, the most dangerous thing on the river, is Simon.

Tonight, we're on the hook about 30 miles from our destination in Knoxville.

CCR

Captain's Log - Day 30

Another day of smooth sailing!

Simon downloaded a CCR greatest hits album today (that's Creedence Clearwater Revival if you're not American, or you are American but you've just never listened to music). Creedence is so goood (you know what the extra "o" is for)! After a few listens through the album, Simon and I agreed that we love all but one song, and even that song is pretty good!

I grew up believing that "I Heard it Through the Grapevine" was a California Raisins song. I figured they didn't write their own songs, but I never suspected they were covering a Creedence song! A part of my innocence was stripped away the day I learned that.

We passed two nuclear power plants today! (Click here for Homer Simpson's pronunciation guide.) I think this may have been the first time I've seen one in person. They're pretty impressive - completely silent, billowing steam out enormous exhaust chimneys. The steam coming out of these plants looked like clouds only a bit darker; maybe because they were lower or denser?

As we drove under the clouds, I half hoped that they would start raining on us. See where I'm going with this? Maybe the rain would be just radioactive enough to bestow super powers on me! Then I could take my rightful place as a member of the B.P.R.D.. My backup would be the Mutant Academy or maybe S.H.I.E.L.D.. No thanks, JLA ... unless Batman comes back ... but then only maybe.

We locked through our second to last lock today. That'll be a bittersweet moment when we pass through our last lock ...

Tidbit #3 - Don't overpack. You're probably gonna wear your swim trunks everyday. Not only do they allow you to hop into the water at a moment's notice, you don't have any underwear - an unnecessary layer that only heats you up! Shirts are a luxury reserved for the occasional foray onto land - two or three should do you just fine. You're going to want some shorts and underwear to go with those t-shirts so bring one or two pairs (and in Simon's case a needle and thread for repairs). Gotta have boat shoes - flip flops will only trip you up and send you overboard. That's really about all you need!

We're on the hook now where the Piney River meets the Tennessee.

Southern hospitality

Captain's Log - Day 29

We spent today at the Island Cove Marina.

I cut my hair this morning. This was the first, and hopefully last, time that I've cut my own hair. I started out with the beard trimmer, but that didn't work too well because the mohawk was too long. Then Simon whipped out some scissors that I was able to use. I was cutting my hair on the swimdeck, and without the benefit of a mirror, it turned out a little rough. I didn't take a picture, but imagine if a barber was blind in one eye and tipsy ... he would've given me about the same cut I gave myself.

We cleaned and showed the boat and then had lunch. (If you go to the Fox Cay, get the Thibodaux Chicken Sandwich! The waitress recommended it, and it was amazing! Also, her grandmother said that we were supposed to give her a kiss after the meal ... unfortunately, she didn't seem up for it.) After lunch, I went to the marina's restroom and tried to salvage the haircut. It's not half bad, but I miss the mohawk already!

Quick aside - Mom, I have to apologize. Nealy borrowed your Dirt Devil for me. It wasn't working, so I opened it up and was holding over the side of the boat knocking out the caked on dirt and the brush roller thingy and belt fell out - sank like a rock. Looks like I owe you a Dirt Devil - but you've got a birthday coming up, right?

After a fairly relaxing afternoon of researching cars while Simon chatted with Will down the dock, we joined Randy and Rebecca for dinner aboard the Toes in the Water. Toes in the Water is a beautiful new 50 foot Gibson houseboat.

Dinner was spaghetti and meatballs, garlic bread, and potato salad. Rebecca makes some mean meatballs! She puts green peppers in them! (Sorry, Rebecca, if I'm giving away a secret ingredient.) I've never had green peppers in meatballs, but it's really tasty.

After dinner, we toured the Toes in the Water and then visited with Randy and Rebecca for about 4 or 5 hours! Here's something I learned today - moonshine still exists!

I used to think that moonshine was a product of prohibition that faded out soon afterwards. Turns out it's still a going concern! Randy was nice enough to share with us his apple cinnamon moonshine! Having never tasted moonshine, I expected it to taste about like rubbing alcohol - turns out it's actually pretty delicious! It's also pretty strong medicine - in Randy's words, "it'll make you take back stuff you never stole."

They also shared with us that Popcorn Sutton used to make the best moonshine ever. Unfortunately, he committed suicide to avoid prison after being arrested one too many times for making moonshine.

We had a great visit and learned a lot about their adventures and their aspirations to island hop in the Caribbean on a motor cat (a catamaran that's driven by engines, not sails). Sounds like a blast!

After a lovely visit, they gave us "Toes in the Water" t-shirts and we bid them goodnight!

Thanks again for everything, Randy and Rebecca! Maybe we'll see you in Knoxville.

We're quitting Chattanooga tomorrow morning and heading for Knoxville and the end of our journey. Hard to believe it's almost over. Oh! I almost forgot todays' tidbit!

Tidbit #3 - Flexibility is key. Whether you're contorting to squeeze through a hatch, jumping the five feet from the bow to the dock to catch the boat, reading and fishing for hours while waiting for a barge to clear a lock, or changing your destination from New Orleans to Mobile to Knoxville because of fuel scarcity, closed locks and unreliable boat transporters, you've got to be able to go with the flow (pun intended). The river is going to take your plans, and your anchors, and bend them all out of shape. Part of the thrill is seeing where the river takes you!

Chattanooga

Captain's Log - Day 28

We're made it through the Chickamauga Lock with 10 hours to spare!

At about 4pm (which turned out to be 5pm - we're evidently in eastern time now) we passed through the lock with another boat - Toes in the Water. (For those of you who are not film fans/buffs, this is called foreshadowing.) She had a bit of trouble getting tied off; understandable since the currents in this lock were pretty crazy, which is probably why they're closing it down for repairs for a month!

Chattanoooga ("I put the extra 'o' in because it's so good") is quite an impressive city from the river. Very beautiful. From the river you can see several museums, the aquarium, a fountain, public docks, several attractive bridges, and a bunch of marinas.

We're docked now at the Island Cove Marina. It's a nice marina with a restaurant called the Fox Cay. Turns out they have good fried chicken! Will (just down the dock from us) recommended it, along with the coconut shrimp appetizer, which is also very good.

I know you've been waiting with bated breath for my next piece of boating advice, so here it its:

Tidbit #2 - Mosquitoes can smell fear. You have to go on the offensive, keeping in mind that chemical warfare against these savages is almost ineffectual. Get physical. Your best strategy is going to be to seal yourself in with them and then battle it out - cage match! Hunt them down, because if you don't, they will feast on you during your sleep.

After dinner at the Fox Cay, Simon and I spied the crew of the Toes in the Water! The were wearing Toes in the Water t-shirts and similarly branded koozies! We stopped and chatted for awhile.

Randy and Rebecca (captain and first mate, respectively) are delightful! They're natives of Chattanooga and have traveled the Tennessee and Cumberland Rivers extensively. We were envious of their themed apparel, and they were generous enough to give us some koozies!

Their boat name was inspired by a Zac Brown Band song, "Toes". I'd never heard of Zac Brown and his band before tonight, but Randy and Rebecca told us he's Jimmy Buffet's musical heir. That song's being added to the Huck Finn 2010 soundtrack!

Also currently on the soundtrack are Sweet Home Alabama, Southern Man, Styx's Come Sail Away and the superior version that is sung by Eric Cartman, Oysters and Pearls (recommended by Rob, captain of the Easy Living), and a very obscure Guns N' Roses song called We Are Sailing that is evidently only available through youtube. Any other suggestions?

I finished Life on the Mississippi today! It was good - a bit slow at times, but good! Now I've moved on to a recommendation from JW - A Whole New Mind. I'm only on the third chapter or so, but it's good!

Captain's Log - Day 27

We're back in Tennessee! Sweet Home Alabama is just a little bit less fun now.

The only lock we passed through today was the Nickajack Lock. As we were rising, Simon and I reminisced about the Mississippi River locks. The lock operators would always come by on their little utility scooters and chat with us! Here on the Tennessee River, however, we rarely even see the lock operators ... probably because we're going through way bigger locks, rising over a hundred feet in many instances.

We're getting dangerously close to the end of the trip so I think I'm going to start providing little tidbits of boating advice or boating rules. Pretty bold after only being a boater for 27 days, right? Nevertheless, here goes:

Tidbit #1 - No matter how carefully you coil and stow an anchor line, when you go to throw the anchor, the line will have twisted and wound itself into a knot of gordian proportions. It's also a rule that the more urgently you need to throw the anchor, the more impossible the tangle.

In my continuing quest to arm you with the tools you'll need to someday follow in our wake, I've added a new list - Stuff you're gonna need. I'm trying to stray from the more obvious items that you already know (bug spray, sunscreen, etc.). I'll continue to update it as more comes to mind.

I'm thinking that maybe we should have some t-shirts made to commemorate the trip ... mostly because I don't want a tattoo. I don't do needles!

We're on the hook in Nickajack Lake, next to Raccoon Mountain (where's my raccoon trap when I need it?!). The bullfrogs are making quite a racket - we can hear them over the generator!

Evasion

Captain's Log - Day 26

We're on a pretty tight schedule. We've gotta make 60 miles upriver everyday in order to make it through the Chickamauga Lock, which closes at 6am on the 20th!

Saturdays are fun days because there are always lots of other people boating and frolicking on the river.

We covered our 60 miles today, braving another typhoon. The toughest part about it was all the wake the other boats made as they sped past, fleeing to their harbors.

Simon and I have improvised a new recipe! Their kind of like Coney Dogs ... maybe they should be called River Dogs? But aren't otters river dogs? Anyway, here's what you do:

You grill some hot dogs and a hamburger. You're also gonna want to toast the hot dog buns. You also open a can of Bush's baked beans with the back of a hammer (check out the updated casualties list) and put it on the stove to heat up. Put the can of beans right on the stove - not in a pan. Cut up an onion and some cheddar cheese.

After the burger is grilled, you chunk it up and mix it with the beans. You pour this concoction over the hot dogs and then top it off with onions and cheese! It's really good!

We're on the hook in Guntersville Lake tonight. I don't want to jinx anything, but ... for the last several nights, we seem to have evaded our bloodsucking nemeses! Not sure how we were able to give them the slip ... Maybe we smell so much like the river that we're indistinguishable now!

No sleep till Knoxville?

Captain's Log - Day 25

Took our sweet time this morning!

It was a muggy night, and Simon and I are both exhausted. After a breakfast buffet, we spent some time recuperating in the pool.

This may be hard to believe, but the song "Sweet Home Alabama" is somehow better when you're cruising through Alabama on a boat! We probably played that thing ten times! Also played a "Southern Man" a few times  too for good measure. To round out the playlist, I threw in The Moondoggies "Don't Be A Stranger," Good Old War's "Only Way To Be Alone," Patrick Watson's "Wooden Arms," and the Black Keys' "Rubber Factory." Quite a blue-grassy playlist! It felt right for the occasion.

Thanks to Micah for Moondoggies and Patrick Watson. Good recommendations!

It was a short trip today, but it did get a little dicey. Another squall ambushed us today! It lasted longer than most too - maybe an hour or more. We braved the whitecaps and, despite having almost zero visibility, we managed to make it to Riverwalk Marina where we're docked for the night.

It's astounding how exhausted we are. We could barely muster the energy to go see Inception - which is really good!

We were going to grab dinner at the Hard Dock Cafe, here at the marina, but they're charging a five dollar cover charge! Typical.

Instead, we just finished a steak dinner! There's a restaurant down here called Steak-Out that specializes in delivering steak dinners! It's really good! Their name, however, is interesting in that there are multiple puns here. The closest pun, "stake out," doesn't really make sense though does it ? Unless, of course, a large part of their clientèle are police officers on stake outs.

The better answer is probably that it's a pun on "take out."

I think I've only been this exhausted about five other times in my life - I gotta sleep this off. Over and out.