Knoxville

Captain's Log - Day 32

We're in Knoxville!

If all goes according to plan, Simon pulled up his last anchor this morning. And we passed through our last lock - the Fort Loudoun Lock

A few miles before we got to our destination, we killed the engines and jumped in the river a few times just for old times sake.

The countryside near Knoxville is beautiful and it's filled with ridiculous homes! Some of these boathouses were bigger than most apartments I've seen!

We saw Predators tonight. It was pretty good - better than I expected!

We're docked at Concord Marina, and the plan is to stay here till we sell Plan C. This place is probably the classiest marina we've stayed at. There's a pretty fancy looking restaurant here, the Lakeside Tavern, but the food isn't too great. Maybe we just haven't ordered well yet.

Hopefully we'll sell the boat this weekend! Got lots of people lined up to come and look at her. I'm optimistic.

Here's a quick tidbit before I pass out from exhaustion!

Tidbit #4 - Talk to everyone. You never know who you'll meet. We've met so many interesting, helpful, and friendly people! Maybe we're talkative because it's relatively seldom that we see someone besides each other.

Ft. Loudoun Lock

We're in our last lock!

Locked and loaded

Captain's Log - Day 31

Another day on the river!

The humidity today was absurd. You could breathe through your mouth and not ever get thirsty. Yes, it was that humid. Fortunately, after we passed through a thunderstorm, the humidity got back to bearable levels. Much longer in that soup and we would've began to resemble the Mon Calamari.

We were buzzed by a float plane today! Before it started diving at us, it took me about 30 seconds to realize it was a remote controlled plane! The guy flying it was really good! He put on quite a show for us. Stuck the landing too!

It's a good thing our trip is nearing its end, because Simon has begun to throw our cookware into the river. We're down one pot!

Today we saw a whole bunch of fish jumping way out of the water! They were all in a very tight-knit group. Clayton warned me about these - evidently they're dangerous! Simon and I didn't take this video, but it shows what we saw:



But at least there aren't any whales!! Jumping fish aren't the only danger on the river, which leads me to our third tidbit.

Tidbit #3 - There are many dangers on the river, so keep your head on a swivel.

There are barges that take a half mile to stop. If you get caught in front of one, your boat is done. Simon and I debated whether it would be best to swim for the shore or stay on the top of the boat till the last second and try to jump onto the barge. Fortunately, we never got a chance to test these theories.

There are thunderstorms that will sneak up on you, cut your visibility to 10 feet in a matter of seconds, and blow you towards the shore with 40 plus mile an hour winds (which makes running into barges easier).

There are locks, dams, wingdams, buoys and trees to hit. Also, watch out for those trees, because sometimes  you'll be minding your own business and they will hit you (and take your anchor)!

There are also poisonous snakes, but fortunately we didn't find any. Although ... I'm still very curious to know if I'm immune to copperhead venom now!

Despite these dangers and more, the most dangerous thing on the river, is Simon.

Tonight, we're on the hook about 30 miles from our destination in Knoxville.

CCR

Captain's Log - Day 30

Another day of smooth sailing!

Simon downloaded a CCR greatest hits album today (that's Creedence Clearwater Revival if you're not American, or you are American but you've just never listened to music). Creedence is so goood (you know what the extra "o" is for)! After a few listens through the album, Simon and I agreed that we love all but one song, and even that song is pretty good!

I grew up believing that "I Heard it Through the Grapevine" was a California Raisins song. I figured they didn't write their own songs, but I never suspected they were covering a Creedence song! A part of my innocence was stripped away the day I learned that.

We passed two nuclear power plants today! (Click here for Homer Simpson's pronunciation guide.) I think this may have been the first time I've seen one in person. They're pretty impressive - completely silent, billowing steam out enormous exhaust chimneys. The steam coming out of these plants looked like clouds only a bit darker; maybe because they were lower or denser?

As we drove under the clouds, I half hoped that they would start raining on us. See where I'm going with this? Maybe the rain would be just radioactive enough to bestow super powers on me! Then I could take my rightful place as a member of the B.P.R.D.. My backup would be the Mutant Academy or maybe S.H.I.E.L.D.. No thanks, JLA ... unless Batman comes back ... but then only maybe.

We locked through our second to last lock today. That'll be a bittersweet moment when we pass through our last lock ...

Tidbit #3 - Don't overpack. You're probably gonna wear your swim trunks everyday. Not only do they allow you to hop into the water at a moment's notice, you don't have any underwear - an unnecessary layer that only heats you up! Shirts are a luxury reserved for the occasional foray onto land - two or three should do you just fine. You're going to want some shorts and underwear to go with those t-shirts so bring one or two pairs (and in Simon's case a needle and thread for repairs). Gotta have boat shoes - flip flops will only trip you up and send you overboard. That's really about all you need!

We're on the hook now where the Piney River meets the Tennessee.

Southern hospitality

Captain's Log - Day 29

We spent today at the Island Cove Marina.

I cut my hair this morning. This was the first, and hopefully last, time that I've cut my own hair. I started out with the beard trimmer, but that didn't work too well because the mohawk was too long. Then Simon whipped out some scissors that I was able to use. I was cutting my hair on the swimdeck, and without the benefit of a mirror, it turned out a little rough. I didn't take a picture, but imagine if a barber was blind in one eye and tipsy ... he would've given me about the same cut I gave myself.

We cleaned and showed the boat and then had lunch. (If you go to the Fox Cay, get the Thibodaux Chicken Sandwich! The waitress recommended it, and it was amazing! Also, her grandmother said that we were supposed to give her a kiss after the meal ... unfortunately, she didn't seem up for it.) After lunch, I went to the marina's restroom and tried to salvage the haircut. It's not half bad, but I miss the mohawk already!

Quick aside - Mom, I have to apologize. Nealy borrowed your Dirt Devil for me. It wasn't working, so I opened it up and was holding over the side of the boat knocking out the caked on dirt and the brush roller thingy and belt fell out - sank like a rock. Looks like I owe you a Dirt Devil - but you've got a birthday coming up, right?

After a fairly relaxing afternoon of researching cars while Simon chatted with Will down the dock, we joined Randy and Rebecca for dinner aboard the Toes in the Water. Toes in the Water is a beautiful new 50 foot Gibson houseboat.

Dinner was spaghetti and meatballs, garlic bread, and potato salad. Rebecca makes some mean meatballs! She puts green peppers in them! (Sorry, Rebecca, if I'm giving away a secret ingredient.) I've never had green peppers in meatballs, but it's really tasty.

After dinner, we toured the Toes in the Water and then visited with Randy and Rebecca for about 4 or 5 hours! Here's something I learned today - moonshine still exists!

I used to think that moonshine was a product of prohibition that faded out soon afterwards. Turns out it's still a going concern! Randy was nice enough to share with us his apple cinnamon moonshine! Having never tasted moonshine, I expected it to taste about like rubbing alcohol - turns out it's actually pretty delicious! It's also pretty strong medicine - in Randy's words, "it'll make you take back stuff you never stole."

They also shared with us that Popcorn Sutton used to make the best moonshine ever. Unfortunately, he committed suicide to avoid prison after being arrested one too many times for making moonshine.

We had a great visit and learned a lot about their adventures and their aspirations to island hop in the Caribbean on a motor cat (a catamaran that's driven by engines, not sails). Sounds like a blast!

After a lovely visit, they gave us "Toes in the Water" t-shirts and we bid them goodnight!

Thanks again for everything, Randy and Rebecca! Maybe we'll see you in Knoxville.

We're quitting Chattanooga tomorrow morning and heading for Knoxville and the end of our journey. Hard to believe it's almost over. Oh! I almost forgot todays' tidbit!

Tidbit #3 - Flexibility is key. Whether you're contorting to squeeze through a hatch, jumping the five feet from the bow to the dock to catch the boat, reading and fishing for hours while waiting for a barge to clear a lock, or changing your destination from New Orleans to Mobile to Knoxville because of fuel scarcity, closed locks and unreliable boat transporters, you've got to be able to go with the flow (pun intended). The river is going to take your plans, and your anchors, and bend them all out of shape. Part of the thrill is seeing where the river takes you!

Chattanooga

Captain's Log - Day 28

We're made it through the Chickamauga Lock with 10 hours to spare!

At about 4pm (which turned out to be 5pm - we're evidently in eastern time now) we passed through the lock with another boat - Toes in the Water. (For those of you who are not film fans/buffs, this is called foreshadowing.) She had a bit of trouble getting tied off; understandable since the currents in this lock were pretty crazy, which is probably why they're closing it down for repairs for a month!

Chattanoooga ("I put the extra 'o' in because it's so good") is quite an impressive city from the river. Very beautiful. From the river you can see several museums, the aquarium, a fountain, public docks, several attractive bridges, and a bunch of marinas.

We're docked now at the Island Cove Marina. It's a nice marina with a restaurant called the Fox Cay. Turns out they have good fried chicken! Will (just down the dock from us) recommended it, along with the coconut shrimp appetizer, which is also very good.

I know you've been waiting with bated breath for my next piece of boating advice, so here it its:

Tidbit #2 - Mosquitoes can smell fear. You have to go on the offensive, keeping in mind that chemical warfare against these savages is almost ineffectual. Get physical. Your best strategy is going to be to seal yourself in with them and then battle it out - cage match! Hunt them down, because if you don't, they will feast on you during your sleep.

After dinner at the Fox Cay, Simon and I spied the crew of the Toes in the Water! The were wearing Toes in the Water t-shirts and similarly branded koozies! We stopped and chatted for awhile.

Randy and Rebecca (captain and first mate, respectively) are delightful! They're natives of Chattanooga and have traveled the Tennessee and Cumberland Rivers extensively. We were envious of their themed apparel, and they were generous enough to give us some koozies!

Their boat name was inspired by a Zac Brown Band song, "Toes". I'd never heard of Zac Brown and his band before tonight, but Randy and Rebecca told us he's Jimmy Buffet's musical heir. That song's being added to the Huck Finn 2010 soundtrack!

Also currently on the soundtrack are Sweet Home Alabama, Southern Man, Styx's Come Sail Away and the superior version that is sung by Eric Cartman, Oysters and Pearls (recommended by Rob, captain of the Easy Living), and a very obscure Guns N' Roses song called We Are Sailing that is evidently only available through youtube. Any other suggestions?

I finished Life on the Mississippi today! It was good - a bit slow at times, but good! Now I've moved on to a recommendation from JW - A Whole New Mind. I'm only on the third chapter or so, but it's good!

Captain's Log - Day 27

We're back in Tennessee! Sweet Home Alabama is just a little bit less fun now.

The only lock we passed through today was the Nickajack Lock. As we were rising, Simon and I reminisced about the Mississippi River locks. The lock operators would always come by on their little utility scooters and chat with us! Here on the Tennessee River, however, we rarely even see the lock operators ... probably because we're going through way bigger locks, rising over a hundred feet in many instances.

We're getting dangerously close to the end of the trip so I think I'm going to start providing little tidbits of boating advice or boating rules. Pretty bold after only being a boater for 27 days, right? Nevertheless, here goes:

Tidbit #1 - No matter how carefully you coil and stow an anchor line, when you go to throw the anchor, the line will have twisted and wound itself into a knot of gordian proportions. It's also a rule that the more urgently you need to throw the anchor, the more impossible the tangle.

In my continuing quest to arm you with the tools you'll need to someday follow in our wake, I've added a new list - Stuff you're gonna need. I'm trying to stray from the more obvious items that you already know (bug spray, sunscreen, etc.). I'll continue to update it as more comes to mind.

I'm thinking that maybe we should have some t-shirts made to commemorate the trip ... mostly because I don't want a tattoo. I don't do needles!

We're on the hook in Nickajack Lake, next to Raccoon Mountain (where's my raccoon trap when I need it?!). The bullfrogs are making quite a racket - we can hear them over the generator!